Jamie Pressly is a slut, and here she is in a 2 piece bikini resorting in Las Vegas this weekend.

The only thing that makes this picture worth a damn is that little pussy fold between her legs. It’s probably all sweaty and if you ran your finger through it, it would smell like Hawaiian Tropic tanning oil. And that’s pretty much every adolescent boy’s first impression into a woman’s horny.

Ask me how many times I’ve squirted it all over my dick, and masturbated myself into a deep dark slumber on a sunny summer afternoon.

On second thought,

don’t.

The truth might make you look away, and shake all over.

Posted: July 8th, 2008 under Hollywood Sluts.
Your2Cents

Dude that chin is fucking deadly!

Here’s Reese Witherspoon coming out of a French boutique baby shop in London earlier today.

This bitch doesn’t need bodyguards. If anyone fucks with the Spoon Man here she just chin butts their ass on top of the head, and they’re fucking dead!

Seriously.

Right through the top of the head and out the bottom on the jaw. Let’s see Stephen King write a book about this. Call that shit “The Green Chin Mile” and let that monster mouth horn get John Coffee up the booty. Which apparently it’s a porno now, and Coffee takes all 8 inches up the man hole.

Oh, and I guess Reese is there with her boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal to film their new movie “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” which really translates into “Prince of two Pussies: A Huge Waste of Hetrosexual Time”

Posted: July 8th, 2008 under Reese Witherspoon.
Your2Cents

Kate Beckinsale took her puppy out for a little walk in Los Angeles Sunday.

Okay seriously, What would be cuter? That fuzzy little puppy or Kate’s adorable little pussy? If we were to put them side by side on display at the food court in the mall, which one do you think would get the Cute Overload vote?

Yeah, you’re right. Kate’s pussy probably would have won hands down a couple years ago, but I think we got a race here now people.

Do I need to poll this shit?

Because I will. Believe me, I have the time.

Posted: July 8th, 2008 under Kate Beckinsale.
Your2Cents

Jessica Alba. Boobies. Shopping mall parking. Beverly Hills. Yesterday.

If I ever blew a nut on my Cinnamon Toast Crunch it would look exactly like this.

But I would never do that because that toast crunch shits disgusting, and there’s a moral issue here people. Normal people don’t typically beat off in their morning cereal no matter how displeased they are.

Posted: July 8th, 2008 under Jessica Alba.
Your2Cents

Halle Berry and her model boyfriend Gabriel Audry were in Hollywood last night for a Stevie Wonder concert.

Not that Stevie knew..

“Stevie! Halle Berry is here and she’s in a little titty squeezing tube top that threw up all over her.”

“Yeah so, Who gives a fuck? I can’t see a single thing.”

“No it’s totally cool. She looks like shit and most people would rather fuck her boyfriend because the dude’s got huge feet, and that usually means a big dick.”

But I wear a size 10 so whatever. Well actually I wear a size 10 & a half, but I can’t say that shit because then I’m just a punk ass little kid trying to explain to his babysitter how he’s “11 and a half” now, and it would be totally okay to have sex with him. And it would. 11teen is totally the appropriate age to break your pubie crabs cherry because crabs are just so “cute” and a nice soft simple step into your std future stardom.

Posted: July 8th, 2008 under Halle Berry.
Your2Cents

Brooke Hogan’s manly ass in a bikini

Jake Gyllenhaal & Reese Witherspoon need to calm their asses down

Jesse James & Sandra Bullock on the beach in bikini’s (NFSW)

Pete Wentz is like so involved in Ashlee’s Simpson’s pregnant piggy

Jessica Alba & Rose McGowen throw down

Jennifer Lopez issued a subpoena in 1999 club shooting

It might take you a few hours to finish sniffing Kim Kardashian’s ass

Cameron Diaz moves fast to try and forget Justin

Jennifer Aniston’s tits get REALLY REALLY big

Eminem’s daughter is fucking ugly and guaranteed a slut (NFSW)

Posted: July 8th, 2008 under Links.
Your2Cents

Here’s Fester Addams Leelee Sobieski having an orgasm on the beach in Malibu today.

She’s so ugly, and so hot at the same time my dick doesn’t know what to do. But to be perfectly honest, it’s always these strange & unusual bitches with the slammin bodies that are best in bed. They’re not all self conscious and will totally let you ball their panties into a little meatball, and then totally let you put it in their mouth.

Posted: July 8th, 2008 under Leelee Sobieski.
Your2Cents

Looks like Hilary Duff sobered up for shopping in Los Angeles yesterday.

She got all wasted the night before and let her hockey player puck her in the butt.

Yep.

Butt sex. Hilary Duff butt sex. Hilary Duff drunk & eating a package of baloney while you pump her rib eye butt sex. Because chicks get fucking HUNGRY when they’re drunk, and if you can find a way to incorporate a sausage & egg taquito in your fuck drunk making. You’re probably getting anal, and you better make it fast. Because once the food runs out she’s pissed, and you’ve pretty much missed your window.

Posted: July 7th, 2008 under Hilary Duff.
Your2Cents

Anna Kournikova pulled her pussy piercings out, and kept it classy at the Laureus Charity Gala in Germany today.

She pretty much looks amazing in every single picture so it’s kinda hard to find something to rip into. I wish she’d sign my fuzzy balls, but that’s just silly because her name is long as fuck and once she gets past “Ann” she’s pretty much got that Sharpie half way up my ass.

And I really don’t mind. I mean, as long as she has Slurpee tongue it must have ended in a riot.

Posted: July 7th, 2008 under Anna Kournikova.
Your2Cents

Pay attention ladies, THIS is how you pump gas into your car.

Like a dolled up whore.

Mustache Baby is throwing up a serious Mariah Carey, and the bitch is slammin. “Summer time slut” has never looked better, and to tell you the truth those shorts could be rolled up another inch or so. But after looking through the pictures you’ll start to realize her legs are riddled with bruises. Apparently this bitch is an ultimate cage fighter in her spare time, and doesn’t seem to mind her beat down fruit skins.

Bruises are a major bummer, and no matter how much you try to avoid them while you’re licking up her thighs. When it comes time to stick it in, you suggest the Mary Lou Retton and make a quick dash for the door.

Posted: July 7th, 2008 under Lauren Conrad.
Your2Cents

Dolly Parton changed her doodie diapers, and performed in London this weekend.

Does she have elephantitis? What the fuck is wrong with her chest?! Think any dudes are hitting that?

Hmmm..

Dolly “doggystyle” Parton bent over in front of you must look like the back of two bent elbows side by side.

Slammin!

Dolly is a trooper and tries to hang with the younger boys in bed..

“Oh that’s it baby. Fill grandma Dolly up, and that crazy new age sex toy feels amazing sugar.”

Oh, Uh. Whoops. That’s not a cock ring M’am. That’s your teeth, and I’m totally about to cum out of my mouth into a trash can.

Posted: July 7th, 2008 under Hollywood Sluts.
Your2Cents

Sophie Monk burned her lips on the curling iron, and then went out and got a new cell phone contract with T-Mobile yesterday.

She’s a half ass, half ass, famous person and has to do this kinda petty shit for herself.

Oh boo.

Yeah maybe if she was a little hotter, a little more put together, and a little less of a filthy skank she would have people to do this kinda shit for her.

But,

She isn’t, and her face looks like it was run through Ranae Shrider’s sweaty ass crack.

Posted: July 7th, 2008 under Sophie Monk.
Your2Cents